Reader Jillian wrote in with a Fashion Etiquette question:
“The other day I was filming a television segment and the producer loved my dress. She expressed her admiration, and I politely said thank you. She then asked, “Who’s it by”?
I said I didn’t know, as it was not a designer brand, but it looked good. She then said, “I have to know who it’s by,” and grabs my collar to look at the tag… I had to then say ” It’s not a designer dress”..I was so embarrassed!”
“…Was that my bad for wearing a non-designer dress to a television segment.. (not for a fashion related business)? Or was that her bad etiquette for insisting on knowing?“
Jillian, it’s never bad etiquette to wear a non designer dress!! Are you kidding? In the days of Forever 21 and H&M, it’s actually trendy to save on clothing! The producer committed the huge faux pas. How invasive to look at your tag!
The same thing happened to me at a party. I was wearing a ruffled no name blouse I bought at Loehman’s. A colleague asked who made my shirt and I really didn’t know. She insisted it was a Diane von Furstenberg, then went in and looked! I felt so violated.
I think it’s ok to ask, but to take the next physical step and check is plain rude.
What do you guys think?
I consider grabbing my clothing while it is on my body to be a physical attack. Whatever happens after that is the solely fault of the perpetrator.
Never and I mean never grab the collar to my clothes. How dare you!That is nothing less than a violation and you will not get very far into your reach for my collar.
I had the exact same thing happen to me at a wedding. I got so many compliments on my dress but one girl decided to look at the tag while asking “who is that by”. I whispered to my date, thank God it’s not from target. We shared a laugh but still I felt so violated! Looking at the tag is an absolute NO! (The dress was by French connection in case you were wondering)
Yeah. I think it’s ok to ask whose the dress or whatever item of clothing is by but to grab the collar and look yourself is rude. If I was Jillian I would have been proud to say yes my dress is fro Forever 21 or something like that.
Oh helllll no @ grabbing the tag. That’s just rude all in itself. Asking WHO it’s by is ok to me, but I personally don’t like for people to ask me WHERE I got something. I don’t like jackers lol
That heffer should not have grabbed your collar!!!
I really don think there is anything wrong with asking someone where they purchased a great item. I do it all the time. I think the best thing do is give them a compliment first and then ask them where to get the goods. I don’t mind sharing info either. Ask me politely and I’ll share.
I DO have a problem with someone entering my personal space without my permission! There’s a guarantee that I would have been professionally polite in letting the collar purpotrator now that she could have waited for a response instead of grabbing up my collar.
I hope she’s a FB reader!
LMAO! Its rude to look. Although, I do it to my best friend!! LOL But we’re like sisters so its kind of a joke. :) I would NEVER look inside a random person’s clothes! That’s like lifting up someone’s shirt to see what size bra they wear or what color their panties are.. wth?
A big fat “NO MA’AM” on this one. You may ask politely, but grabbing someone’s collar to look at a label is unacceptable.
I’ve experienced the uninvited look at the tag, too, but worse is when a friend/coworker/colleague asks where you got something, you tell them, and they go out and purchase the EXACT same thing. The rude tag-grabber will disappear, but you can best believe you’ll be staring down your favorite garment/accessory on that copyin’ someone you know, and then you can’t wear it again in the same company.
Polite to ask, straight up RUDE to look. I would have slapped her.
I typically ask people where they found something after complimenting them on how FLY they look. They usually spill but I rarely go get the same thing but since it’s random strangers on the street, it’s unlikely we’ll cross paths again. If they went to a certain store I’ve never entered (which is rare) and found something amazing, my logic is the store has even more amazing finds that suit me.
I had a few “friends” in my younger days that would try to copy whatever I had on but it never worked on them b/c they didn’t know to tailor it to their bodies/styles. I had a co-worker ask me where I found a skirt (I’m the full skirt queen in the summer) and I’d just gotten it on clearance at a store near work. Her style was so NOT like mine so I dished and a day or so later she had the skirt and showed it to me like I would be pleased to have a twin. Although I rock stuff my own way and mix it all up, now when people I see often ask me where I got something, if I remember and it’s been long enough for them not to have it anymore, I tell. LOL If it’s a stranger, I tell where and give the cost (I’m a clearance/sale shopping ninja and I’m very proud of it) without hesitation!
putting your hands on my body for any reason, especially to check the tag of my clothes will result in you getting slapped before you can even find out who designed the dress.
WTH? Are people raised by wolves now a days? I would never even think to grab at someone’s clothing to look for a designer tag. I don’t even ask people where they purchased items. If I see somone wearing something I like I ususlly have a pretty good eye in telling the designer or the store(for no names). So you can imagine my response in turn when someone ask about my clothing.
I agree that people shouldn’t grab your collar or any thing else on your body without permission.
My thing is that I feel the person gave you a compliment for a reason. We all like clothes and fashion and the first thing to do is compliment a piece someone has on that you love. The SECOND thing is to want to know where you got it. I think that she was being passive in asking the brand of your shirt as opposed to where you bought it. That would nip all that touching in the bud.
I do realize that many people don’t like to share that information, which to me is ludicrous. The idea of exclusivity in regular day moments is stupid. Fashion is an art of self-expression and 2 people can walk in the room with the same outfit on and still look different rather than a bunch of mannequins in the window at Macy’s. So next time, if you don’t volunteer the info right away, then when they give you that blank expectant stare or ask you what brand it is – Just tell them. No one really cares that it was from Walmart or Saks, but more about how far is the nearest Marshall’s for them to go get it.
Outrageous!!! never never go in and look at someone’s tag! U looking for a beatdown?! Anyhoo it really depends on who I’m asking, if I think that the person is a little full of themselves and snobby, I would just compliment them on the outfit and keep it moving. But if it’s a long time friend or family member i would ask where they got it from.
i think everyone agrees that putting your hands on a stranger is awkward, rude, and generally ignorant… however have we addressed the question itself… i would never ask a person who their clothes are or what they cost but rather where they found it (new, vintage, walmart) but only if i legitimately wanted to kno how to find it